Everybody has it all figured out.
Conversations between friends and acquaintances was like a shock rocking my comfortable shell of an existence.
And what frustrated me more than ever is that everybody has their life figured out.
V*, told me she’s going to make sure she’s in a relationship when she’s 24. She had impossible high standards but I guess it fits considering she’s pretty much got it all—looks, smarts, the whole shebang. They seemed worried for me because of my romantic prospects (or lack thereof) in the past year. The fact that I’m in med school, the clock is ticking twice as fast for me. *J is all secured, romantically-speaking, since she’s been together with *B for almost 5 years. And Z* is about to go out of the country and by my deduction of the conversation, they believe in the idea that foreign living ensures you a love interest. Which leaves ME, with the least chance of ever settling.
They didn’t say is explicitly, but it was strongly implied. I was getting near pissed at the looks the’yre giving me. It wasn’t very encouraging. I keep saying stuff like, “Let’s pray for that,” a feeble attempt to put an end to the discussion.
I’m like “Good Lord, what is it with everyone, focusing on getting hitched like procreating is their end goal.” I’ve got nothing against marriage. It’s just that, I’m still 22 and technically a young adult. I don’t know what that age means for you and the people in your country, but here, apparently if you’re in your twenties and NOT be in a relationship, everybody is getting ready to stamp ‘spinster’ over your forehead.
Really though, relationships are far from what I’m thinking right now. I get all gushy here with posts on anything the slightest bit romantic, but it ends there. In the real world, I am quite detached. Certainly not unfeeling, but hardly swooning. If this happened to me a few years back, I’d be scared shitless. But now that I’m more sure of myself than I’ve ever been, I’m actually content at where I am. Something occupies my mind constantly, and despite the constant harmless flirtations with acquaintances, I have to say I don’t think love will be something I’ll entertain this year. And I say that with more than just a shred of sureness.
ALSO. I’m quite lost on what field I’d be specializing on. Some of my med school friends tell me that I’m great with kids and I’d be good in pedia. Then some tell me I have decent know-how on skincare that dermatology should really be something I should look into. Before med school, I’ve been aching to get into anything orthopedics-related. Now, after 1st year of medicine, I hardly know where I’d want to be. “Let the pieces fall where they may.” “Let’s cross the bridge when we get there,” and all that promise adages hold. Because if someone asks me right now where I’ll be in the next 10 years, all I can say is, “wherever this road takes me.”